Chapter 2 - Early Adolescence

Aged 11-12 We live a little out of town now, it's such a cool place, we live across the road from the Murray River. Me and Kalmana have a row boat and go out all day adventuring. Our friends come over and we play rugby on the front lawn most weekends, or go bike riding together. Going to Dads hasn't been so bad, the evil step mum / cousin Lilith has been less evil lately... Life is good!

I have a best friend Jezebel, she is pretty much family. I think we clicked as we are the only kids in our year that have seperated parents, we get each other. Jezebel sometimes comes with me to Dads on the weekends, she comes to the shack with our family and is with us for all of our family milestones. One night we made a witchy box / time capsule and burried it under the floor of her horse stables and vowed to come back and open it in a few years.

Aged 12-13, Mum and Nimrod buy their first house together back in town, it's a renovators dream. I love to help him and he teaches me how to measure out wall frames, how to gyprock and plaster the walls. I enjoy spending time with him, he doesn't seem very nice to Kalmana though, it makes me feel bad when he shrugs her off.

Another great weekend at Dads house. It's been a joke at home with Mum and Nimrod, I don't usually eat much but have been eating the house out lately, they say it must be a growth spurt but the joke is after every meal they ask if I've had enough and I'd exclaim I'm still starving and go for 2nds or 3rds. At Dads, Lilith who doesn't cook but orders take out and pretends she did, set up a Chinese night with cool cutlery and Chinese themed bowls and table cloth, it was really cute. Dad asked after the table was empty if everyone was full, I replied "no I'm still starving"... Not realising that they wouldn't get the joke. This didn't sit well with Lilith, so she left the table screaming and yelling about me being ungrateful and spoilt. I can't win! Dad talked to Mum about it and she explained the back story, she says he feels really bad, but he doesn't say anything to me about it.

I have a real boyfriend now, I left my 4.5 year 'relationship' with a boy best friend for this guy, which didn't go down well with his older sister who is in Kalmana's class. I'm not sure how but I'm labelled a slut at school. I broke up with the guy kindly, I left time in-between to explore my feelings with the new guy before making it official, but oh well the rumours will die down. Kalmana seems to believe alot of the shit being said about me, we don't talk much anymore.

Mum got me my first mobile phone! There are rules attached of course, but I'm so excited! I can talk to my bf and my friends when I go to dads on the weekend's, I always feel like I'm missing out koz all their parents are together and they don't have to go away on the weekends!

So my phone got taken away... I racked up a huge bill so it's been confiscated 😣 Back to living in a black hole, isolated from my friends especially when I go to Dads. Oh well back to reading lazily in bed on a Sunday morning instead of texting, I'll be fine!

I've just heard Lilith and Adam having a fight in the bedroom next to mine, apparently I read too much or I'm doing something else wrong to be spending so much time in my room when I'm here, can't adults just leave me the F alone, I'm away from my friends, I'm forced to come here every fortnight, Lilith doesn't even want me here, Dads barely here anyway and doesn't choose to spend time with me! He'll take Lilith's son and Kalmana out to kick the football or to a basketball or AFL game, he shows no interests in my interests... Why do I even need to be here!?

I complain to Mum when I get back home that I hate going there, they're always bitching about me, always doing something wrong, why do I have to go. She tells me to keep my chin up and she'll have a talk to Dad about making it less uncomfortable and find out what's going on.

Jezebel and I visited her mum one weekend in the city (they don't get along very well). She invited me to come with her as she hasn't seen her mum for quite a long time but felt safer bringing me with her. She has a beautiful home and a new boyfriend her mum wanted Jezebel to meet. We hung out in the spa with her older sister and caught up on life (her sister lives with their mum). Then her mum came out drunk screaming at Jezebel, none of us really knew why, I tried to stay out of it but she was getting in Jezebels face so I pulled her into the room we were staying in, locked the door and called her dad. While I was on the phone to her dad, Jezebels mum had gotten into the room, threw all of Jezebels things out the front and kicked her out! I went to follow her outside, her mum was blocking the doorway, she said she kicked Jezebel out not me. I told her she had a beautiful home and seemed happy, but Jezebel won't forget this and you will lose her forever one day, and stepped passed her to join Jezebel on the curb, where we waited for an hour and a half in silence for her dad to come and pick us up. Only then did Jezebel finally cry, I feel so sorry for Jezebel, I get it! We're still not even sure what happened but it was something along the lines of Jezebel not being inviting enough to the new boyfriend, apparently she didn't make an effort... I don't think that's the kids job though?

Soon after, Jezebel and her family moved State. We were hysterical, nearly 5 years of friendship and she was leaving. We promise to keep in touch and will always be family no matter what. I miss her!

After 9 months with this new guy, turns out his a cheating d*ck with wandering eyes. He blames me koz I wouldn't have sex with him (still a virgin) and he has needs! I broke up with him... My 2 best friends cried with me in the toilets at school. By lunch time, I find one of those bestfriends and HIM hooking up! Wow that didn't take them long did it, and I still get called the slut 🤷🏼‍♀️ lost a bf and a bff in one day... Awesome! I call Jezebel to tell her the news, she is so disappointed with our friend too. This sucks.

A few days later after pretty much not leaving my room and trying to fake sick so I don't have to go to school, the next fortnight to go to Dads is coming up and I'm really dreading it, I just want to be alone, I just want my bed and my room. Mum gets in a heated phone call with Dad... Apparently koz my phone was confiscated and Lilith has lost hers, I must have stolen it! Oh and I'm some huge druggy now koz I sit in my room all day and don't talk to anyone!? Well if someone made an effort I bloody would! I read my book to escape the tradegy of a useless Dad who doesn't give a shit about me! I beg Mum to please let me stay home this weekend, I don't want to be there, I've not touched a drug in my damn life, this isn't fair! She agrees, thank you Mum!!

The next fortnight rolls around and Mum says all the phone drama should have died off by now so I have to go. Not a fan but whatever. I have my phone back now with more rules, and a new bf... Not sure I even like him but it's someone to talk to, he gets me. I go to Dads, everyone's walking on egg shells, Lilith makes a few sly jabs about not being able to make a call or text someone and even asks to borrow mine since I've been rewarded mine back after stealing hers, if only Dad was around to hear this shit... Back to my room I go... Good chat Lilith, wanker!

I'm nearly 14 now, going to Dad's has just been getting worse. Lilith takes any opportunity she can to bring me down but NEVER when Adam is around (I don't refer to him as Dad anymore, he doesn't act like one). I'm at their house this weekend and Lilith is in the dining room when Adam asks me a question about who put something somewhere, I think it was his keys, I wasn't really listening, I replied "she did" referring to Lilith. Holy hell you'd think I'd just called her a psychopath instead... She smashed a vase onto the floor that she was pretending to clean to listen to our conversation, stormed past us both screaming about how awful I am and slammed her bedroom door shut. Furniture was obviously being tipped over judging by the sounds. I was in total shock, I had NO idea what the hell I had said that would deserve that reaction, ESPECIALLY in front of Adam. I stared at him in horror... He was doing the same!

He tried to talk to her through the door, more screaming about how horrible I am and the word SHE always emphasised oh and drugs of course... I still don't get it?

Anyway, I'm not welcome there anymore, Adam didn't speak to me about it afterwards, so it's pretty obvious he took her side, would be nice to know what I actually did, but oh well, I'm glad Adam got to see that, even if he did take her side. Have a nice life guys.